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Conor Cunningham

Hi!I'm Conor Cunningham, Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC), #19221

Addiction & Recovery Specialist

At a Glance

  • Recovering alcoholic with 5+ years of sobriety — I speak the language of addiction and recovery fluently

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  • I understand that addiction isn't a moral failing; it's a response to unmet needs, unprocessed trauma, and the weight of living in a body and brain that don't fit

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  • Diagnosed ASD, ADHD, and OCD — I know how neurodivergent wiring can create vulnerability to addictive patterns

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  • Grew up in the GATE (Gifted and Talented Education) program — I know the gifts and the costs of being a gifted kid from the inside, and I help parents navigate both for their own children

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  • My own recovery journey started in homelessness, moved through psychiatric hospitalization and incarceration, and rebuilt through faith, 12-step programs, and clinical training

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  • Clinical experience in substance use disorder treatment, crisis intervention, care coordination, and trauma-informed care

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  • Trained in CBT, DBT, motivational interviewing, and evidence-based addiction models — but my real credential is having been there

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  • I understand the shame cycle intimately. I also understand that shame doesn't fix anything — recovery does

I Know What It's Like to Be Exactly Where You Are

If you're here reading this, you probably feel trapped.

 

You know your behavior with sex or pornography is out of control. You've tried to stop. You've made promises to yourself, maybe to people you love.

 

And you keep finding yourself back in the same cycle — shame, acting out, promises, shame. The cycle keeps spinning, and each time through it, the shame gets heavier.

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I'm not going to tell you that you're broken. I'm not going to frame your struggle as a moral failing or a character defect.

 

I've been in a different but structurally identical addiction cycle myself — alcohol was my drug — and I know what that feels like. The secret-keeping. The self-loathing. The way you convince yourself that this time you'll stop, and you can't. The way addiction tells you a story about yourself that doesn't feel true but also feels impossible to escape.

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What I want you to know is this: you're not fundamentally broken. Compulsive sexual behavior develops for a reason. And that reason is usually rooted in real pain, real unmet needs, real trauma, and real patterns of thinking that your brain learned early on.

 

Those patterns can change.

My Path From Rock Bottom to Recovery

I grew up in Southern California. I was a bright kid who didn't fit. I had behavioral issues from early school years, then got labeled "gifted," then spent my entire adolescence and young adulthood masked — performing who I thought I needed to be while my actual self was screaming underneath.

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Nobody diagnosed me as neurodivergent. I had undiagnosed autism, ADHD, and OCD — conditions that meant my brain experiences the world differently and with much greater intensity than neurotypical wiring.

 

I didn't have words for that then. I just knew I didn't fit, that social interaction felt impossible, that I was exhausted all the time from the effort of being "normal."

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Alcohol was how I managed that. It was how I numbed the social awkwardness, the constant anxiety, the unprocessed trauma I was carrying, the relentless effort of masking who I actually was. For much of my life, alcohol solved a problem that felt unsolvable.

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But addiction isn't a solution. It's a cage that locks from the inside.

From Homelessness to Here

My addiction didn't just affect me. It destroyed relationships, cost me stability, and landed me on the street.

 

I've experienced homelessness. I've been through psychiatric hospitalization. I've been incarcerated. I know what rock bottom looks like, and I know what it takes to climb back out.

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That climb wasn't easy, and it wasn't fast. But it was real. I got sober. I started attending 12-step programs. I found faith as a foundational part of my recovery — not as a quick fix, but as something that required daily surrender and practice. I went back to school. I started working in community mental health and recovery services. I became a clinician.

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And through all of that, I got diagnosed.

 

I finally had a name for why my brain worked the way it did. That diagnosis didn't erase my addiction history. It contextualized it. It explained some of the vulnerability, and it also opened up new ways of understanding myself and my path forward.

Why I Understand Your Struggle Better Than You Might Think

On the surface, your struggle might look different from mine. You're not drinking alcohol. You're caught in a cycle of sexual behavior or pornography use. And yes, the specifics matter.

 

We need to talk about your actual experience, what triggers you, what you're using it to manage, what the consequences have been.

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But at the structural level, what you're dealing with and what I dealt with are cousins in the same family.

 

Both are ways of managing unbearable internal states. Both involve shame and secrecy. Both create a double life — who you show the world and who you actually are. Both are driven by deeper needs that the addictive behavior temporarily meets but ultimately fails to satisfy.

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"For much of my life, alcohol was how I managed the weight of undiagnosed neurodivergence, social awkwardness, unprocessed trauma, and the relentless effort of masking."

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For a lot of men I work with on sexual compulsivity, the underlying pattern is similar: there's something about your neurobiology, your trauma history, or your lived experience that makes you more vulnerable to these patterns.

 

Maybe you're neurodivergent and nobody named it. Maybe you experienced sexual trauma. Maybe you grew up in an environment where sex and shame were tangled together. Maybe you've just never felt like you fit anywhere, so sex became a place where intensity felt like connection.

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Whatever the root, it's not about moral weakness. It's about a brain that's learned to use a particular strategy to regulate itself. And those strategies can change.

My Clinical Approach

I'm trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, motivational interviewing, and evidence-based addiction treatment models.

 

I understand the neurobiology of addiction and the psychology of compulsive behavior. But my training comes alongside my lived experience, which is what actually qualifies me to work in this space.

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With you, I'll be direct. I'll help you understand what need your behavior is actually meeting — what internal state you're trying to regulate, what pain you're avoiding, what you're seeking connection through.

 

We'll look at the neurobiological pieces: how your brain has learned to seek these behaviors, what triggers activate them, what your shame cycle looks like. We'll work on actual skills: urge management, emotional regulation, building alternative coping strategies, rebuilding relationships and trust.

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But underneath all of that, there's a foundational belief: you're not broken. You're stuck in a pattern that made sense at some point, but it doesn't serve you anymore. And you have the capacity to change it.

Who I Work With

  • Men struggling with compulsive pornography use or sexual behavior

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  • Men experiencing shame and secrecy around sexual behavior

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  • Men whose sexual compulsivity is connected to trauma, neurodivergence, or unmet emotional needs

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  • Men navigating recovery in 12-step programs (SAA, SA, SLAA) who want clinical support alongside their spiritual work

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  • Men in relationships affected by sexual compulsivity — both their own and their partner's

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  • Men rebuilding trust, intimacy, and authentic connection after addiction has damaged relationships

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  • Men exploring the connection between neurodivergence and addictive patterns

What to Expect in Session

I create a space where you don't have to perform being okay. You come in carrying shame, secrecy, and probably a lot of self-judgment, and my job is to help you set that down long enough to actually look at what's happening underneath.

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I won't shame you. I've been there. I know what it's like to hate yourself for something you can't seem to stop doing, and I know that shame doesn't heal anything — it just makes the cycle tighter.

 

What I will do is ask you hard questions, help you understand your patterns, teach you skills you actually can use, and hold you accountable to the recovery you say you want.

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Sessions are confidential (with safety exceptions for imminent risk). We'll talk about what's driving this, what you're trying to manage, what recovery could look like, and what concrete steps get you there. If you're in a 12-step program, I can support that work. If you're not, we can explore what recovery structure makes sense for you.

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Recovery is possible. I'm living proof. And whatever brought you here — shame, consequences, hitting a bottom, a partner's ultimatum, your own knowing that this isn't working — that brought you to the right place.

Professional Background

Before becoming a clinician, I worked directly in the addiction and recovery space.

 

I was a clinical advocate at Teen Challenge Recovery Center, a faith-based recovery program — which means I understand how spirituality, 12-step work, and clinical treatment work together.

 

I worked as a behavioral health technician and case manager at Telecare Corporation, where I supported people with co-occurring disorders, worked in crisis intervention, and did care coordination for people rebuilding their lives after addiction.

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I've also lived the other side of recovery. I volunteer at First Step House North County, supporting people in early recovery.

 

That means I'm not just clinically trained in this space — I'm actively engaged in the recovery community.

License, Training, & More

  • Credentials: I hold an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC) license, BBS #19221

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  • I earned my Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Walden University and my Bachelor of Arts in Human Services from Columbia College.

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  • I'm also trained in specialized trauma and healing approaches: LIGHT Certification from UC San Diego (Light-Induced Guided Healing Therapy) and Hypnotherapist Certification, also from UCSD.

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  • My Lived Experience: 5+ years sober from alcohol addiction. In active 12-step recovery. Diagnosed neurodivergent (autism, ADHD, OCD). Experienced homelessness, psychiatric hospitalization, and incarceration as part of my path to recovery. Now actively engaged in supporting others in recovery work.

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"I speak the language of addiction and recovery fluently. I've walked the road you're on — and I know the way through."

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